AT YOUR BECK AND CALL
I have a very dear friend who has been going through a lot. Alcoholism, drug abuse, self-loathing… you name it, she’s there. Her mother, (who she feels was the only person who ever truly loved her,) died several years ago, so she now feels completely alone.
One night she went to a party, which she barely remembers, and nearly overdosed. She was on a downward spiral, and a few nights later she called a couple people late at night, but I was asleep and the other friend missed her call as well. I called back about half an hour later when I rolled over and saw the missed call, but she didn’t answer, so I assumed she had fallen asleep and texted her letting her know I’d call in the morning. Instead, when I woke up, I found out she had taken a bunch of pills, ended up in the emergency room having her stomach pumped, and was now sedated and intubated in the ICU.
I was frustrated, and concerned, and worried, and scared. In times like this it’s really hard to know what someone needs. And while I understand that this a traumatic response and the biggest thing she needs right now is love… it’s still really hard to know WHAT exactly to DO.
There are times for tough love, (when I just want to shake her and tell her to knock it off and start making better choices!) and then there are times when the best thing, is just a hug. Sometimes it’s hard to know which would be best… but I’ve found a hug lets me get close enough to shake her later, if need be! Ha!
While I know I can’t beat myself up for it, I can’t help but feel bad that I missed her call… that I can’t be there for her 24/7. None of us can. We all have full lives, and traumas, and issues of our own we are bearing. We can’t be at her beck and call, even if we want to.
Then God reminded me, that’s not our job.
It’s HIS.
It’s times like these when I look at my own life and think about the moments or hours or days when I’m at my lowest. When I feel completely alone and lost. What do I do? Sometimes it takes me a while, (sometimes a LONG while!) but eventually, I pray.
When I remember that I’m NOT alone, no matter what I think or feel right now. That I AM loved, no matter what I think or feel right now. That Jesus WILL help me no matter what I think or feel right now. When I cast all my cares on him and unburden my heart onto Him, I begin… sometimes slowly at first… to feel peace. The longer I pray, and the more I look to Him, the more of His peace He gives me.
He’s ALWAYS at my beck and call.
I hear a lot, “I prayed, but Jesus didn’t answer me. He didn’t save me. I was still in the midst of all my crap.” I think that’s because we expect Jesus to be our genie in a bottle. We expect Him to show up the way WE want Him to, and do what WE want Him to, and answer the way WE want Him to. We want Him to just wave a magic wand and fix our lives - without US doing anything. Grant us 3 wishes, make us happy, then go back into the bottle until we rub again.
But that’s not how He works.
He reveals Himself in HIS way. Not in a great cloud of smoke, with a glowing turban and arms crossed across his bare chest like a genie. Instead, it’s usually really, REALLY subtle, yet really, REALLY powerful… if we recognize it.
Like we’re trying to light a match to smoke something we shouldn’t be smoking… and the match goes out.
3 times.
Subtle. But clear.
When we’re angry and loud and screaming at the world, and screaming at God, we usually won’t hear Him.
He says to be STILL and KNOW that He is God.
Calling your friends and crying out to them is not a BAD thing, but calling Him is the BEST thing. You MUST cry out to Him.
Because He NEVER sleeps.
He IS available.
He IS here.
He is ALWAYS here.
His name is I AM.
So when you cry out, “God! Are you here?”
He says, “I AM.”
When you cry out, “God! Are you ALWAYS here?”
He says, “I AM.”
When you cry out, “God! Are are you able to help me?”
He says, “I AM.”
When you cry out, “God! Are you sure??”
He says, “I AM.”
When you cry out, “God! Are you bigger than all my problems?”
He says, “I AM.”
When you cry out, “God! Are you at my beck and call?”
He says, “I AM.”
Always.
Just call.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.
SCRIPTURES
Isaiah 26:3 ~ You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You. (AMPC)
1 Kings 19:11-12 ~ And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And, behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice. (KJV)
Philippians 4:6-7 ~ Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus. (CEB)
Matthew 28:20 ~ And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age. (NET)
Psalm 46:10 ~ He says, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (NIV)