SANDPAPER STORIES
I don’t remember where I first heard it, or read it, or whatever, but at some point I was told, “Whatever you like or dislike about someone is what you like or dislike about yourself.” The first time I heard it I thought it was only half true, that the things I LIKE about someone else are things I LIKE about myself. This is the easy part to believe – the positives, right? I didn’t believe the second part of that at all, because when I really (REALLY!) don’t like someone and they really (REALLY!) rub me the wrong way, I KNOW I have NOTHING in common with them! I am NOT like them at ALL!
Uh huh. You can see this coming…
Years and years ago I worked for a medium-sized, well-established organization. A very top-level executive of this company really, (REALLY!) rubbed me the wrong way, as I was in a position to know he was cheating the company. A LOT. Lots of people knew it, but because he was so influential nobody was willing to reveal it, and there was no way I could get my hands on the documentation to prove anything. So I just seethed every time I saw him. Or heard his name. Or thought of him.
One Saturday morning I was driving to work, grumpy that I was going in on a Saturday and even more grumpy because I had to work with HIM. As I sat at a stoplight waiting for the light to change, I found myself seething over this man again and suddenly I heard the Lord speak to my heart.
“What are you so upset about?” He asked. (As if He didn’t know. Ha!)
“Lord,” I said, “I know I’m supposed to love everyone, but I really can’t stand this man!”
“Why not?” He asked. “What is it about him you don’t like?”
“Well, I HATE that he steals from the company!” I fumed. “It’s just WRONG and I HATE it!”
“Ahhh, I see,” Jesus answered. Then He asked, “Do YOU steal from the company?”
Of course, I was highly offended. In self-righteous indignation I replied, “Absolutely not!”
“Ohhh…” said Jesus, “so when you purposefully wait until 6 minutes after 5 to clock out because you know anything after 5 minutes after the hour you get an extra 15 minutes on your timecard… that’s not stealing? And when you take printer paper or a box of pens or a box of paperclips or pencils home… that’s not stealing?”
I was mortified. “Well, yeah…” I said, “but… that’s different. Those are *little* things… they don’t cost very much… and besides, EVERYBODY does it!” I was sounding more and more like a guilty 4 year old with every word… and I knew it.
Very gently, Jesus spoke to me, “Child, as I told my disciples over 2000 years ago, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” (Luke 16:10) This man is in your life to reflect your own sin back to you. I know you think he is “worse” than you, but sin is sin. You may be stealing less than he is from the company, but you are still stealing from the company. You have no control over what HE chooses to do, so let that go. You DO have control over what YOU choose to do, so focus on that instead.” Immediately I knew He was right. Well, I mean… of course, He’s right – He’s God! But, He made it very clear in that moment that even though my sin wasn’t very big in my eyes, and maybe not even in others’ eyes, (and certainly not when compared to this man’s sin!) it was still something God wanted me to address. He has called us to more. In Leviticus 19:2 God says, “Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.”
Needless to say, I stopped taking home office supplies and started clocking in and out on time, but the amazing thing was this man no longer rubbed me the wrong way. I knew that his stealing was between him and God, just as mine was, and because I had addressed my own sin, I was no longer convicted by his.
I have a million stories like this, because they happen every day of my life. I call them “Sandpaper Stories.” Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” A blade becomes dull when the edge becomes microscopically warped or damaged. (Just like us!) Sharpening the edge of the knife is done by essentially smoothing out the rough edge of the blade by grinding the edge with something grittier than it is. So now when others are “rubbing me the wrong way,” or when something is “grating” on me, it’s usually because I’ve become a bit dull to my own flaws, so the Lord brings someone into my life a bit grittier than I and they irritate me. (Like in the story above.) If I stop and ask, “What is it about this person that’s irritating me?” and am truly honest with myself and with God, He reveals a rough edge of my personality He’s trying to grind away and straighten out.
Maybe someone is being proud and arrogant.
How am I proud and arrogant?
Maybe they’re talking to me disrespectfully.
How do I talk disrespectfully, to them and/or to others?
Maybe they have NO concept of time and are always running late.
How can I be more disciplined in my own schedule?
Maybe they’re selfish and insecure.
How am I selfish and insecure?
Like the example above from my own life, the degree of sin is really irrelevant, and the irritation really isn’t about the other person.
May God give us the grace and humility to recognize that the Sandpaper Stories of each day are just one of His ways of using relationships to grind away our ragged edges and create a sharper way for us to cut through to the real issues within ourselves.
In Jesus’ name.
Amen.