YES AND NO
They say, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” We “intend” to eat right and exercise and spend time in prayer and devotion and tithe ten percent and write thank you notes and clean behind the fridge… but oftentimes it doesn’t happen. Why not?? These are GOOD things. These are IMPORTANT things. These are things God would want us to do, right?! So, why don’t we do them?? Why don’t *I* do them? This is something I have struggled with my entire life, and I think I’m starting to get a glimpse of the answer… or at least, AN answer for me.
For me it seems to lie in the immense power of two little words: YES and NO.
I am really, REALLY good at saying YES.
“Yes, I’ll take on that project.”
“Yes, I’ll do that for you.”
“Yes, I’ll work late.”
“Yes, I’ll work this weekend.”
“Yes, I’ll __fill in the blank___.”
And I’m even better at “saying” YES in non-verbal ways.
“Yes, I’ll stay up later than I should to watch that TV show.”
“Yes, I’ll have one more slice of pizza.”
“Yes, I’ll hit the snooze button again. For the 5th time.”
“Yes, I’ll spend another hour online watching inane videos of cats doing stupid things.”
The problem isn’t that we say YES to things… the problem is, unlike the word NO, we have a limited number of YESES we can use in one day.
Imagine that you can only say YES - either verbally or non-verbally - like 10 times in one day. Once you’ve used up all your YESES, everything else gets a NO. What this means then is if you say YES to one thing, you oftentimes end up saying NO to a LOT of other things. Good things.
Sometimes REALLY good things.
This is how this looks in my world…
“Yes, I’ll take on that project,” means, “No, I can’t take a lunch today but will work through my lunch instead, and no I won’t be kind to those around me because I’m getting grumpier and grumpier as my blood sugar drops and I take out my mood on everyone and everything around me.”
“Yes, I’ll do that for you,” means, “No, I won’t allow you to struggle through this difficulty and no I won’t let you learn an important lesson vital to your growth, but will try to “fix” things for you instead, and then get frustrated when you’re not further along in your understanding.”
“Yes, I’ll work late,” means, “No, I won’t go home and cook a healthy meal and no I won’t spend quality time with my family this evening but instead will just bring home fast food and veg out in front of the TV before collapsing into bed exhausted.”
“Yes, I’ll work this weekend,” means, “No, I won’t take time to rest and revitalize myself with a walk through the forest with my mate but instead will drain myself completely and start next week closer to burn-out than I ever thought I could be.”
Basically, “Yes, I’ll __fill in the blank___,” means, “No, I won’t be INTENTIONAL with my time and energy and resources.”
When I’m not intentional with my use of YES and NO, they lose their power.
However, I’ve found when I AM intentional with them, they are INCREDIBLY powerful.
“No, I won’t stay up later than I should to watch that TV show,” means, “Yes, I’ll get a good night’s rest and wake up feeling great in the morning!”
“No, I will not have one more slice of pizza,” means, “Yes, I will feel good about choosing moderation and self-control!”
“No, I will not hit the snooze button again,” means, “Yes, I will get up and spend some time exercising and praying and being still before the Lord.”
“No, I will not spend another hour online watching inane videos,” means, “Yes, I will clean behind the fridge and face my fear of the dust monsters lurking there!”
“No, I will not work late, or this weekend, or take on another project,” means, “Yes, I will choose to spend quality time with myself, my loved ones, and with God.”
Will I be perfect at this immediately and wield the power of YES and NO properly every time?
No.
Will I choose to try again when I fail?
Yes!